Dave’s Top Ten Rules For Walking In The Selva

by Captain Bill

Guest post by David Peterson

10.  Never put your hands or feet where you can’t see them, unless you like being called Stumpy.

9.   Do not follow anyone, anywhere, if he is under one meter tall. This includes children, spirits, and the recently dead.

8.   Do not swim naked in the rivers – see Candiru.

7.   Do not molest the wildlife, and you know who you are.

6.   When taking squatting to perform a bodily function the time you are exposed should at all costs be minimized.

5.   Do not, under any circumstances, engage in Richard Fowler’s positions for sex in a hammock.

4.   Please speak in a loud voice and make noise walking over branches and such.  The animals appreciate a warning, and even the monkeys will be laughing at you.  Get over it.

3.   On longer walks be sure to take the three f’s: fire, food and shelter.  Submitted by G. Bush, somewhere in Texas.

2.   Ants are not your friends, no matter how cute they look carrying stuff.

AND, the number one Rule to remember for walking in  the jungle:

Never ever take all your clothes off at once unless you are with a really good friend.

Dave’s Top Ten Rules For Walking In The Jungle

Guest post by David Peterson

Bill Grimes continues his quixotic quest to average 1,000 views per day on his way too serious Captain’s Blog. Thanks Dave, this should help. Tell your friends.

{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

1 candiru April 10, 2011 at 10:02 am

The last one i don’ t understand completely.

the problem with hammok is that it is unstable or could break ?

Under 1 mt tall … what could be the dangers ?

thank you

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