Sacred Shamanic Healing, Part Four
A guest post by John Ed Ellerd
After coming back to Hererra, Peru after a short break and sitting in the ceremony house reading Initiation by Elizabeth Haich my mind begins to wander a bit. I begin to wonder after a rip roaring start and a good long run of cruising through different dimensional experiences within myself. I am asking is this where the medicine begins it’s down turn to a wanna-be solution just like all the other modalities I and so many others have tried in the past. I had deliberately set myself to be a non-believing skeptic this time around’ after all a belief system of any kind shouldn’t be needed in order for the spirits of ayahuasca to open up galaxies, other dimensions, and my own inner being from which I flow. So now I am coming down to where the rubber meets the road, and if you are wonder if I have expectations – Hell Yes! I expect the spirits of the infamous teacher plant ayahuasca to bring it on home and do for me what it has done for thousands of initiates before me. Dismantle me and then rebuild me, prepare me for the coming shift and if nothing else, prepare me for the coming me, for we are the ones we’ve been waiting for. At the crossroads at midway through my three month excursion, my intentions are set and I am prepared to reach 0 point.
And when I say I have expectations, it doesn’t mean I have specific expectations for certain problems. It means I have an expectation for an outcome specific to me being whatever it may be. I have come to be led to the right path whatever that path might be, to the right outcome whatever
that outcome might be. etc. etc. etc.
Beginning Monday four of us started the sanango diet leading me to believe I am in fact coming closer to 0 point and as usual I again realize it’s not what or where I thought it to be. I could really do without the assumptions of the ego about subjects it is completely ignorant of, even as it tries convincing me with much chatter from mind loops. Coming back into the present moment I immerse myself into the solitude of silence where the ego also goes silent for there is no drama in the present moment for the ego to feed upon. I am safe for the time being and I can begin to allow the experiences to surface from the depths of inner perspective.
I am awakened at 3 AM by the sound of Luco, the shaman at Infinite Light coming through the door and beginning to call everyone’s name as he is preparing the sanango. Believing for one and a half months that ayahuasca was the most vile substance I had ever put into my mouth, I was in for a surprise. Little did I know I was about to swallow its superior. It was all I could do to keep it down as it burned like liquid fire as it slowly entered my throat and then on down into my stomach. If anyone can remember the candy Fire Stick, try to imagine swallowing an entire stick in liquid form without being allowed to rinse without water afterward. My mouth began to salivate to the point I could only lean over the puke bucket so the saliva could stream out of my mouth like a river. I still can’t believe the human body has the ability or capacity to produce that much saliva so quickly. My nose is running almost as fast and at this point I’m having to try to breath through my mouth without much success. My eyes are beginning to cloud up and tears are becoming tributaries carrying even more liquid down the front of my face to feed the ever growing river pouring into the bucket at my feet. I have no doubt this is the most excruciating discomfort I’ve ever experienced in one part of my body. After fifteen minutes I became too weak to sit up and the nausea is about to take its toll. At this point I open my mosquito net and crawl into bed, my mouth continuing to fill with saliva about as fast as I can spit into the bucket. After another twenty minutes I can begin to relax somewhat as my eyes are better, I’m blowing my nose continuously but I’m only getting a mouth full of saliva every five minutes or so. Only now does relief come and I fall asleep where I drift far, far away.
As I am regaining my consciousness sometime around seven am I realize far, far away isn’t quite far enough. The good news is the river is no longer flooding from my face. The bad news is every muscle in my body feels like I have taxed each and everyone to the max and then some. My eyes are out of focus and are vibrating up and down very rapidly as the light streaming through the window is like staring at the midday sun and I realize if I don’t get to the bathroom quickly, I’m going to be swimming. What else am I going to have to deal with in this incapacitated condition. Ah yes, as I begin to blindly make my way to the toilet, I discover I can’t walk or maintain my balance. Amazingly I am able to make the trek to the toilet and back in time to eat breakfast, two hard boiled eggs, rice and yucca which tastes like cardboard warmed over. Oh how I am beginning to appreciate the small things in life, even life itself.
The present discomfort continues most of the day and begins to subside about dusk as the light now is again bearable to my eyes. As I’m sitting on the edge of the bed I am brought my breakfast. As I take the plate of food, I begin to feel something like a volcanic eruption coming from the depths of my stomach. I barely have time to set my plate down at the edge of my bed and pick up the puke bucket before the eruption hits my lips. Sadly there are no nice watery chunks but instead dry heaving driving up small amounts of sanango. And I thought the medicine ayahuasca was disgusting going down!
Here I must mention how my attitude of gratitude was increasing as each moment passed. I have discovered a new found love for all my normal bodily functions I was having before I plunged into the depths of the sanango clutches abnormality concerning bodily behaviors.
As I started my journal today I first read what my beautiful loving soul-mate wrote in the front of my journal before I left for Peru. I am continuously amazed at the melodious words of love and encouragement I receive every time I read her entry of inspiration. Thank you my love. I know that through all types of adversity, I can without fail always count on your compassionate sensitivity. Her words at this time are a savior to my soul.
Not only do these teacher plants deal with you intensely, but then after the fact, the new perceptions and life lessons are also intense to the point of becoming passionate. Now I am passionate about living my life, not just existing. I am now thinking I should get more than adequate rest in order to prepare myself for day two beginning at three A.M. Now 2:30 A.M. I am again awakened by the crisp clinking sound of 4 glasses of sanango being prepared. At last I don’t have to wait in agony for my next inhalation of this disgustingly tasting brew brought to me in the cloak of darkness that mysteriously transforms that darkness into light. How could something so putrid supposedly do so much good in so many ways. I still don’t understand, except the root of the sanango tree has been growing for perhaps millions of years drawing wisdom from the mother for as many years. That wisdom is drawn from the roots and transferred via plant spirits remaining in the brew after being soaked for many hours. After being ingested, the sanango begins to release the spirits into the body where they begin to do their miraculous work of releasing the dark negative energies and heal the body so it might continue its original function.
I experience more of the same symptoms as yesterday although a little milder. It’s hard to put words to the sensations my body is going through at this time. Actually words no matter how used, can do no justice to the sensations being experienced by my body since arriving and ingesting ayahuasca in my first ceremony. I had been diligent and done three months of research while reading dozens of testimonials. In the throws of even the first ceremony none of the testimonies had any relevance to what I was then personally experiencing.
This morning I vomited up some of the sanango I just drank. No matter, good riddance, I was glad it was gone out of my system. Maybe I could enjoy a little relief this time around. I realize this journey has somewhat turned into a love/hate relationship with the medicine. I love the benefits but hate everything else relating to the experience my senses are now having to endure on an almost daily basis.
The third morning begins with the tinkling of glasses being filled once again with the dreaded sanango. I’ve been awake for about fifteen minutes wondering what time it was but not wanting to look. It seems as though the medicine woke me to let me know it was coming and I should prepare myself, and strangely enough, prepared I am. Immediately I jump out of bed and am the first to drink in order to save myself the gagging experience of watching everyone else drinking and choking ahead of me. I hang around with the others for a few minutes choking and gagging, spitting and blowing my nose, then head for my room for a little solitude while I continue to release all the water through my mouth, nose and eyes I had drunk during the day as the flames of hell continued to singe my throat and intestines.
I’m feeling deathly ill and sense the sanango trying to make the return trip of escape, or so it seems. As the dry heaves begin to take control the medicine begins to respond with a resounding “not this time”. At that very moment my stomach locks down and it feels like the dry heaves are only starting from the middle of my chest. Excruciating pain and dizziness begin to overtake me along with all the other sensations, yet I find the strength to sit on the edge of the bed with my head remaining over he puke bucket awaiting the eruption that never comes, only the saliva gushing into the bucket.
Falling to sleep easily this morning seems to escape me and I really don’t remember sleeping at all, just waking up at six A.M. as the sun greets me through the window.
This day is a little better as my body has done its job of assimilating the medicine and for that I am thankful.
I suppose there are more than a few readers thinking I’m possibly losing my mind and at times I might agree with you. Although I am 63 years old on the 3-D time line and I’ve spent most of my life building these fortresses in my mind and body via the ego and the many choices that led down the paths that never served me for the highest good, therefore it is going to take something with a tremendous amount of force to blast the walls of separation and dislodge the many illusory belief systems I have set in my mind with unmoving obstinate resistance.
My mind I would like to retain while overcoming the effects of the ego over many lifetimes and simultaneously allowing my higher consciousness to ascend to the throne of my heart!
Sacred Shamanic Healing, Part Four
A guest post by John Ed Ellered
Hi, Captain Bill Grimes here. I’m president of Dawn on the Amazon Tours and Cruises, and this is my Captain’s Blog. I’m proud to present this series of guest posts by John Ed Ellerd about his experience with ayahuasca at the Infinite Light Sacred Shamanic Healing Community. Please read John’s first three posts, Sacred Shamanic Healing, Sacred Shamanic Healing Part Two, and Sacred Shamanic Healing Part Three. I think they are well written, from a good heart and mind.
If you are interested in the subject of Ayahuasca and natural medicines from the Amazon Jungle you might also enjoy clicking on the links below and reading the stories in those articles and the comments. Please feel free to leave a comment about your experiences and opinions. Thank you.